Silvery Sleds

my mind is still just @#$%^&*( from the stuff that happened so i just can't stop blogging. i'm sorry.

ANYWAY!
1. this is the day to have The New Year by DCFC on replay one thousand times and feel rightfully nostalgic about it. I remember how strange I felt when they played it in the August show.
2. it's new year's eve and i'm going to watch DVDs at home. watchnight service later, life is boring, but beautiful. work with it.
3. i'm listening to Silvery Sleds from Nick and Norah's infinite playlist. on replay.
4. i don't like playing guitar hero alone.
5. i'm hungry.

i'm waiting
i don't know for what
i'm waiting
i'll be patient, i'll try.

used to be is really growing on me,
i love tambourines.
thank you for the song. it's beautiful.

last day of the year.
i feel nothing.
.. yet.

cross your fingers
take a deep breath
let the wave crash upon you
don't look at what's left
brave the storm
grit your teeth
you're so much more, deep down underneath.

At constant speed.

Listen earnestly please.
(change xx to tt)
hxxp://www.box.net/shared/zc7zhtxvt5#ABD12_13_GemmaHayes_AtConstant



A lonely burden rests gently
this is harder than I thought
Your face is distant and paler now
its funny how things work out

But if I keep a constant speed
and watch everything rush past me
its the quickest way to leave it all behind
only it never leaves
I'm beginning to forget, I'm beginning to forget you
I just see an outline
I'm beginning to forget, I'm beginning to forget you
I hope that's alright

I miss your kitchen window view
the effect I had on you
Your voice is lost in static waves
erased by every day


If I keep a constant speed
and let everything rush past me
This bloody mess I can leave behind
only it never leaves

I'm beginning to forget, I'm beginning to forget you
I just see an outline
I;m beginning to forget, I'm beginning to forget you
I hope that's alright

I'm beginning to forget, I'm beginning to forget you
I just see an outline
I'm beginning to forget, I'm beginning to forget you
I hope that's alright
I just see an outline
I just see an outline of you
Just see an outline
Just see an outline of you

So beautiful.

Persuade Yourself. Convince Yourself. Delude Yourself.

i'm watching Kung Fu Panda alone on DVD.
life is tragic.

ringo deathstarr

snippets of
Christmas.

This is my Dad and Mom, evidently elated by the fact that they have successfully paid for a movie ticket for the first time since the 90's.



my dad's expression OWNS.

i spent the day helping out for my dad's party which involves 20 overgrown children (adults) belting it out on the third floor killing evergreen songs on the karaoke set and hanging out with my bro. (L)

after a little talk about globalisation at coffee bean...

Clarissa: What is globalisation to you?
Cephas: Interconnectivity.
Clarissa: What about the erasing of boundaries (e.g one language, one earth, no nations)
Cephas: (rants about freetrade, tax, etc.)
Clarissa: True.

-silence-

Cephas: What kind of boys do you like?
Clarissa: HUH?!

edit: i just listened to the shout out loud's song, you are dreaming and it's the most tragic thing on earth.

Say what you say, I am listening, I am all ears.
But if you still believe I'm thinking of you
you are dreaming, yes you are dreaming.
Everything you say, I am listening, I am all ears.
But if you still believe I'm thinking of you
you are dreaming, yes you are dreaming.

oh dear, not again.

self-containment.
what is it? being able to control, to hide or to skillfully blur those tricky, tricky emotions? tricky.

to be or not to be.

it's Christmas eve.
hear the summer-snow?
it's raining.
i'm also watching Atonement, Keira Knightley is smoking a cigarette and it just looks odd.
i can't pay attention to anything.
my mind is running amock.
i need self-containment.
my imagination is bigger than me.
no, more like, bigger.. than what i'm able to handle.

drapes. i'm thinking of heavy drapes.
-
oh no. the video just stopped.
it switched to David Artchuleta (sp?)
i'm switching the channel.
hee. MTV.
-
pop-up books.
-
mystery jets... sigh.

just, You.

folks, no question about it.
I absolutely am deeply, helplessly in Love, deep, deep Love with God.

Just came back from candlelight service, and it wasn't the atmosphere or the great fellowship that made me all fuzzy about God, it just... feels right.
I've oversimplified this of course. This divine love is indeed, indescribably wonderful. It just fits. For once in my life, it makes sense. It just does. No strings attached. Just pure, pure, love. Just Christmas. Just, You.
--------
sectionals in the morning, met jasmine after to shop for gifts and candlelight after.
company was great. went for candlelight with the small group, and by supper it was just ziyang, eugene, jia, michael, chua, caleb and janaan. last train home alone, and i saw wenyi's mom! i haven't seen her in ages, fancy seeing her in such a place. oh right, jasmine and i almost killed ourselves today.
--------
5 things I learnt today

1when i'm really, genuinely, happy, i laugh for no reason.
2people still fall in love when they're 50. this crazy thing, it doesn't stop. michael's story proved it.
3you can concentrate better when you hold your breath.
4many people don't know that drizzling is "mao mao yu", when translated to chinese.
5Christmas is beautiful.

don't cry child, you've got so much more to live for

boy ladybugs.

talk about drama

okay, deep breath because this is a long one.


right, remember the whole passport fiasco?
well, my superwoman mother managed to get our passports renewed within an hour.
after which, we rushed to the airport to catch our 1240 flight,
which was lovely, coupled with a starbucks and soup spoon lunch with my ma.
nice flight.. met dad, ceph and uncle hadianto
shopped/ate/yadda
met his lovely kids janice and andy
pretty much sums up my jakarta trip.

THEN

ceph and i got hit by food poisoning (we say it was SIA's beef lagsane)
threw up like crazy, and my poor mother went to the hospital 5 times because cephas and i got warded at different times.
so after hours of fever/throwingup/sleep
woke up, and i was all good! ceph too. thank you to all who asked!
heh, made friends with a really nice girl in my ward.
she had food poisoning too, and we were both lamenting and comparing how bad our conditions were!

home sweet home, and band camp!
i loved it.

mmm, i can feel Christmas in my bones already.

the ever-so-deceptive butterfly kiss.

my very cute mother fogot to renew her passport. so, i'm stuck in singapore till this tuesday. was mega disappointed but we went on a nice retail therapy (literally) money wasting session! but you know, mothers. they spend heavenuva load of money on bedsheets, why?!!! but essentially, the purpose of this post is that i'm going to fall off the face of earth for a couple of days, byebye.

sometimes when you're not around, i put you into things to make some sense to myself that you actually are, real.

you are my thunderstorm.
you are my favourite of the moment death-cab-for-cutie song on replay.
you are the chill that goes down my spine.
you are the cold sweat on my brow.
you are my green-tea icecream.
you are my bungee jump.
sometimes you are my nothing.
you are my robot.
you are my puppet master.
you are my sunshine.
you are my searing pain.
you are my vacuum in space.
you are my fuzzy feeling.
you are my wheels on my skates.
you are my gunshot wound.
you are my sand slipping through my fingers.
you are my dream.
you are my nightmare.
sometimes you are my everything.
you are my blank paper.
you are my colour pencils.
you are my empty fridge.
you are my mind.
you are my body.
you are my soul.
you are my empty vessel.
you are my endless ocean.
you are my itch.
you are my sugar high.
are my pending mistake?
you are my fear.

heading to Jakarta tomorrow,
it's been awhile since my family travelled together!
i'm so exciteddddddd, i can't wait to sleep tonight, because when i open my eyes the next morning, i know i'm heading to the airport.

and...

this is big.
possibly, the pinnacle of 2009. (excusing SYF, Alevels and of course, Christmas)


ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the Mystery Jets.



ANYONE INTERESTED? TELL ME PLEASE (I'M LOOKING AT YOU MILDRED AND RACHEL) pleasepleaseplease, tickets are at 40 (for now)

what do i want? this is what i want.

a full stop.


i feel like i'm sinking in quicksand.
it still rings in my head, the exact decibel of your voice,
the tone, even the length you pulled your words.
i remember everything.

ala fightclub,
perhaps we only fulfilled the purpose of being single-serving friends?
this is not the first. but the second. out of 2.
or scratch that.
scratch everything out.
everything.

so it's 9.20

i had every intention to run until i saw keegen running past me just now while walking home, and to prevent myself from dying from brutal humiliation i plan to wait (patiently) for him to finish running before head out. -i don't think he reads this, but if he does he better not laugh!

i'm thinking i'm thinking i'm thinking. what do i say. i have 10 minutes to spare, i should really make this worthwhile shouldn't i.

right. here's a good band!

Foals

i think indie electropop is the new eurothrash. reality bites.